Practice Does Not Make Perfect; Practice Makes Permanent.

Posted by Paul Morin at 9:30 am Deliberate Practice, Perfectionism, Practice 16 Responses »

Jul 052012

Practice Does Not Make Perfect; Practice Makes Permanent.

I was at a soccer (“football” for most outside the United States) training session recently and heard this expression, which I hadn’t heard for a while: Practice Does Not Make Perfect; Practice Makes Permanent. It never made much of an impression on me in the past, but this time it really resonated, as I was watching players make the same technical errors over and over again.

The corollary expression is, of course: Perfect Practice Makes Perfect! But what is “perfect practice”?

In many cases, as I’ve written elsewhere, perfectionism can be very destructive and can impede you from reaching your goals, rather than helping you get there. When it comes to practicing correctly though, seeking perfection, in my opinion, is a worthwhile goal. I have always believed that you will compete the way you practice. I have seen it time and again in my own athletic endeavors and those of the teams and players I have coached.

Does this same concept apply to business and other endeavors beyond sports? I would argue that it does. The most effective and successful business people I know are meticulous about how they “practice” and they are very deliberate in taking note of and adjusting to the feedback they receive from their markets and other constituencies.

The concept of the 10,000 hour rule for becoming an expert and the related idea of deliberate practice have been widely embraced in recent years. They are often credited to Malcolm Gladwell, as he popularized the ideas in his book Outliers, but they were, in fact, originated by Ericsson and others, many years before.

An important element of “deliberate practice” is feedback. The idea is that it is not sufficient to just practice for 10,000 hours; rather, in order to become an expert, you must practice deliberately, with feedback, always seeking to correct and improve upon errors you are making. In other words, you are seeking perfect practice!

So, what is “perfect practice”?

First, notice that nowhere in these concepts is it expected that you will be perfect all the time, in practice or in the “game”. This is where many athletes and other achievers become confused, I think. They mistakenly believe that they must be perfect all the time, and if they’re not, they become frustrated and many quit.

As you are practicing and seeking to improve your performance in athletics, business or whatever other endeavor you may undertake, be careful to approach perfection correctly. Understand that you will not be perfect all the time. That’s OK! The key is, rather than becoming frustrated and quitting because you are not perfect all the time, learn from your errors and continue to improve. See every mistake and “failure” as an opportunity to improve. That’s “perfect practice” in my opinion. You put in your best effort. You don’t slack off, but you also realize that you will make mistakes. Rather than allowing those mistakes to demoralize you though, you use them as motivation to get better, always seeking “perfection,” but willing to acknowledge that it will always be (slightly, hopefully) out of reach.

Achievers are notoriously hard on themselves and those around them. That’s OK too, as long as you don’t become so obsessed with perfection that your desire to be perfect ruins your attitude and your chances to become your best. On the other side of the coin, don’t become lax and allow yourself to be too sloppy in your practice. Remember, as you practice, so will you perform in competition! If you’re serious about your sport, your business and your other endeavors, you owe it to yourself to take practice seriously and remember, if you continue to make the same mistakes without correcting them, you will never reach your full potential.

I look forward to your thoughts! Please leave a comment (“response”) below or in the upper right corner of this post.

Paul Morin

paul@companyfounder.com

www.companyfounder.com

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Do You Embrace Change?

Posted by Paul Morin at 8:44 am Change, Perfectionism, Procrastination 26 Responses »

Jan 222012

change is good

Do You Embrace Change?

I have found that it is quite useful to embrace change, to be a person who seeks out the new and different.

As the saying goes, “There is one constant in life, and that is change”.

Of comfort to those who dread change should be another saying, “The more things change, the more they stay the same”.

How do you approach change? Many I’ve known try to avoid change at all costs. They’re even willing to perpetuate policies and approaches that no longer make sense, just so they will not have to deal with change. Logically, we know this does not make sense, but by and large, human behavior is not based on logic, it’s based on emotion.

So what’s so bad about change? For most, the answer to this question is: I’m comfortable with the current approach and I went to a lot of trouble to learn and understand it, so I do not want to have to learn something new. In many cases, the truth is that they did not actually go “to a lot of trouble to learn and understand it”; rather, it just fell into their lap and it just “is”. They’re lazy and afraid and they just don’t want to have to deal with yet another new thing.

Unfortunately for those who approach life this way, as the saying goes, change is the only constant. Even if much of the change is just a repositioning or a repackaging of old ideas, concepts and approaches, as far as our minds go, it’s different. So, deal with it. Don’t try to avoid it. Embrace it. Seek ways to find and even encourage change. This brings to mind the title of a book I once read, “If It Ain’t Broke, Break It,” by Robert Kriegel. It was quite a while back, so I don’t recall all the details, but if I remember correctly, the main theme was to challenge “conventional wisdom”. The mindset that “we do it this way because we’ve always done it this way,” simply does not make sense, particularly in a world as dynamic as the one in which we live.

The idea of challenging “conventional wisdom” appeals to me viscerally. It describes who I am and who I’ve always aspired to be: someone who doesn’t just take “that’s how it is” as an answer. This can lead to its challenges, of course, particularly in environments where the “powers that be” make major efforts to indoctrinate their subordinates. I’m sure you can think of a few environments like that.

So what does this mean to the entrepreneur and the high achiever? In my experience, those who embrace change, or at a minimum, are willing and able to deal with it head-on, rather than doing all they can to avoid it, tend to have better outcomes in the world of achievement and entrepreneurship. They are introspective in all that they do and even though they don’t just do whatever “the man” says, they are coachable. They will challenge most everything they hear, but they do so with an open mind. They embrace change, but do not fall victim to “shiny object syndrome”. They approach all problems and issues as opportunities and they understand that change is an unavoidable element of progress. They are not intellectually (or otherwise) lazy; rather, they are intellectually curious and have a strong desire to continually improve and tweak wherever they can. They do so without succumbing to the circularity and paralyzing nature of perfectionism.

How do you approach change? Would you say you embrace the opportunity to find better solutions, or do you stonewall every suggested change that comes your way? Are you a change agent, or are you a staunch protector of the status quo?

I encourage you to open your mind to change. Challenge everything, of course, but do it in the spirit of confronting the dynamic nature of our world and business operating environment, rather than burying your head in the sand, or worse yet, actively trying to impede every potentially beneficial change that comes your way.

I look forward to your thoughts and questions. Please leave a comment (“response”) below or in the upper right corner of this post.

Paul Morin

paul@companyfounder.com

www.companyfounder.com

Don’t miss an issue of Company Founder! Subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. It’s practical information for entrepreneurs and leaders interested in taking it to the next level.

How To Deal With Difficult People

Posted by Paul Morin at 9:12 am Conflict Management, Difficult People 19 Responses »

Sep 152011

How To Deal With Difficult People

It’s important to learn how to deal with difficult people. You will run into them in most everything that you do. In my experience, the more you try to achieve, the more difficult people you will run into. The key is how you choose to deal with them.

I’m not going to go into all the reasons some people are more difficult to deal with (hint: they’re usually very unhappy themselves, due to their lack of self-esteem), as that could comprise an entire book. Instead, I’m going to give you a few steps to take and a couple of things to keep in mind that will make it easier to deal with difficult people.

My approach to dealing with difficult people “back in the day,” used to be to fight and take them on head-on, to “give them a taste of their own medicine”. It felt pretty good, usually, but produced very unpredictable results. I had to give this up, for the most part, when part of my advisory work began to involve advising family businesses regarding conflict resolution. Instead of being party to the arguments and tough situations involving difficult people, I found myself advising on how to resolve them. In short, I had to “be the adult” if I was going to do my job well.

So here are some of the insights I’ve gleaned from advising family and non-family businesses, and from learning how to deal with difficult people in my own businesses and the rest of my life.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #1

Remain calm. If you lose your temper, they “win” and you lose the ability to think and behave rationally. Nothing frustrates a difficult person more than not being able to “get to you”.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #2

Focus on the facts. No matter how heated or animated the difficult person becomes, and no matter how much they try to make the “discussion” emotional, always stay grounded in the facts. Do not “take the bait” and engage in an emotional exchange. Keep calm, per #1 and keep it to the facts, and just the facts, per this rule.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #3

Keep perspective. Sometimes when a difficult person gets you engaged in a conversation or argument about something, no matter how inane and inconsequential it is when looked at objectively, it can take over your thinking. Don’t allow yourself to become obsessed with an issue, just because a difficult person wants you to be obsessed with it. You decide.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #4

Take the high road. No matter what the difficult person does, unless it involves trying to harm you physically, do not “stoop to their level”. By taking the high road, you can maintain your self-respect and the respect of others who may be pulled into, or may be observing, the situation.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #5

Disassociate yourself. I realize that disassociating yourself from the difficult person may not always be possible, at least not in the short term. However, if it is at all possible, even if it takes you some time, you need to leave that difficult person behind. If you don’t get any indications that the person is trying to change, then why should you put up with such treatment on an ongoing basis? You’re better than that.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #6

Be very direct and assertive. While you should always try to “take the high road,” per Rule #4, it is very important to be direct and assertive when dealing with difficult people. The behavior of many difficult people, often through years of practice, can be considered roughly the equivalent of “bullying”. While it may not be physical bullying and sometimes it may come in the form of passive aggressive behavior, in the end, it is a form of bullying. The best way to deal with bullies is directly and assertively. Maintain your calm, but stand very firm. They’re used to being able to run people over and won’t know exactly what to do when you don’t let it happen. That cognitive dissonance will work to your advantage.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #7

Have empathy. Remember, as I said in the introduction to this article, often times the behavior of difficult people is based on a great deal of internal weakness, uncertainty and self-doubt. They are trying to hide the lack of self-esteem they feel every minute of every day. Keep this in mind when you are tempted to play their game. Don’t do it. Show that you have more self-respect and self-esteem than that. I have found that if you don’t respond in a confrontational manner to the initial aggressive forays of difficult people, you’ll have a better outcome over time. If instead you try to empathize and help them understand that you understand where they’re coming from, you will make a friend or at least neutralize any animosity that would otherwise be directed your way.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #8

Embrace the challenge. In learning how to deal with difficult people more effectively, think of all conflict and conflict resolution as a journey, not a destination. Just when you’ve solved one conflict or finished dealing with one difficult person, another one tends to pop up. Don’t be discouraged. Rather, understand that this is reality. If you are going to be an achiever, a “go-getter”, then you are in the domain of ego-driven behavior and “difficult people”. Get used to it. Embrace the challenge. Think of it as an opportunity to hone your conflict management skills.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #9

Become process oriented. Realize that all conflict must be processed. If it is not addressed and is instead allowed to fester, its importance becomes unnecessarily magnified and it tends to get blown out of proportion. Have the courage to address conflict and unacceptable behavior early in the game, to avoid festering. Look at it as a process, which only gets started when you are willing to identify and acknowledge issues, put them on the table, and discuss them “like adults”.

How To Deal With Difficult People Rule #10

Acknowledge imperfection. Keep in mind that no one is perfect, including you. Get over perfectionism and all the negative consequences it carries with it. Remember that people make mistakes and that is OK. Go a little easier on yourself and others. Don’t become mediocre – that’s not the point. The point is that you can still be an achiever and a go-getter without expecting that everything goes perfectly. Give yourself and others a bit of slack. Continue to have high standards, but realize that we’re only human. That’s true for the difficult people too; in fact, it’s especially true for them.

As you know, there is not one formula for how to deal with difficult people. It’s highly context-specific. Hopefully though, the ten “rules” above, which I’ve gleaned from a couple of decades of dealing with difficult people in family businesses and non-family businesses and organizations, will help you to more effectively manage your interactions with people who make things more difficult than they need to be.

What insights have you developed as you’ve learned how to deal with difficult people? Please share. I look forward to your thoughts and questions. Please leave a comment (“response”) below or in the upper right corner of this post.

Paul Morin

paul@companyfounder.com

www.companyfounder.com

Don’t miss an issue of Company Founder! Subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. It’s practical information for entrepreneurs and leaders interested in taking it to the next level.

Why Perfectionism Is The Enemy

Posted by Paul Morin at 8:21 pm Perfection, Perfectionism 15 Responses »

Aug 012011

Why Perfectionism Is The Enemy

In the early stages of starting a business, or starting anything, for that matter, almost nothing goes according to plan. For those of you who’ve ever started anything even a little bit complex, you understand where I’m coming from. You can plan and prepare to your heart’s content, but there are always glitches and stumbling blocks that you have to overcome. As the saying goes, if it were easy, everyone would do it.

This is where perfectionism and perfectionist tendencies come in. What does a perfectionist do when everything is not perfect? Do they have a meltdown? Do they get discouraged and quit? Do they never start in the first place, fearing that something may go wrong? Any of the above can be expected of a perfectionist, of someone who has a strong need to control everything and to have it come out “perfectly”.

You can see where I’m going with this. If you are a perfectionist, you will have a hard time starting things. You will have a hard time making them run and watching them go sideways from time to time. You will have a hard time finishing things, as you know they will never come out as perfectly as you want them to. You will probably also have ulcers and many other negative side effects of requiring perfection of yourself and likely, of those around you as well.

Here’s what I’m NOT saying: you should have low standards, then you’ll never be disappointed. That is not even close to the point I am making. I think you should have extremely HIGH standards for yourself and those around you. I think you should do everything in your power to live up to those high standards and achieve more than the vast majority of the population. But I DON’T think you should be a perfectionist. Life does not have to be binary. It does not have to be black and white. There is a middle ground.

It is also extremely important to pick your battles wisely. If you are starting or growing a business, or trying to achieve greatness in sports or any other endeavor, it is likely that you’ll confront dozens of different decisions and challenges each day. These decisions and challenges are not “one size fits all” – they do not have equal importance and implications. It is extremely important to look at each decision and challenge you face in context. You must consider its potential impact on a micro and macro level, before you react.

Some issues and challenges you face WILL be extremely important. Depending what your area of endeavor is, it’s not likely that they’ll be “life or death”, but in some cases they may be. Whatever the case, you need to learn to maintain your poise and stay calm. That is the only way that you can perform at your best. When you run into stressful situations or those that invoke fear, use the G.A.M.E.S. Approach, which I’ve covered elsewhere and is based on techniques taught to the Navy SEALs to master extraordinarily challenging and stress-inducing scenarios. It focuses on effective Goal-setting, Arousal Control, Mental Rehearsal, Endurance, and Self-talk.

Whatever approach you employ to overcome perfectionism, the first step is to recognize that you have an issue. From there, you can take a deep breath and each successive step should get a little easier. Fear of failure should be less of an issue for you going forward. You should become better at managing difficult situations and finishing what you start. You should be less likely to let your perfectionist tendencies keep you from achieving all you’re capable of and from leading the less-stressful, happier existence you deserve.

I look forward to your thoughts and comments.

Paul Morin

paul@CompanyFounder.com

www.CompanyFounder.com